no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
