is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he was CRYING into my vagina
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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