we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
