he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
