Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
