so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
