Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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