We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
