I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
