he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
