I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He did a backflip because drugs
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
