this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
