he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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