well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
