In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We have started to decorate penises.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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