Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
