Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
