I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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