im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
