He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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