I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
