Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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