Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
