I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
thus making me awesome and them whores
i was born a porn star she said
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
