just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
