sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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