I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
