Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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