She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
