also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
