Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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