what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
