I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
