The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
