I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
