Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
