I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
