come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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