Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
