Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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