Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
