fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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