I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
