just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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