when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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