Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
