Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
