I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
