we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
