the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
