i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
